PAIN

Pain was felt when you left
And is now what's left of how I felt
About life, and death
And pain

True, you never left
Yet you never stayed
Like a caterpillar that once lived on my leaves
You became a butterfly
That now may choose
Not to touch
Anything beautiful in me

I bloomed like an azalea
And I have chosen to show my red petals
Delicate as they may seem
I showed them without a care for the wind
Not for the cold, nor for the rain
And although some petals may have fallen
Tears were not enough to keep my eyes swollen

For once in a while
You would be here
Washing away the rain
And causing more pain

And it went
Four years of my life
Wasted
On an anticipated dream
And sweet promises made sweeter by kisses
And bitter pains that numbed bitter pains

I wonder what made you decide not to stay
On a relationship that would not have happened
Had I chosen to go away
Maybe then I would not have felt this pain

I looked in a mirror
And saw that I have become
Like any other azalea
And maybe I was just like any of them
And maybe you just made me feel different
And maybe I was just too blind to see the difference
And maybe I believed you

I noticed my petals
Lose its color slowly
Like death coming
Nearer and nearer each day
Touching me everyday
Forgetting me everyday
And how I can tell you a thousand more things
That had not been the same since you left
But one thing remained
That I cannot seem to get rid
Tears would no longer fall
And my heart would no longer feel
What my mind no longer remembers
Everything that would not let me forget
That all that you left was pain